Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Death Cat Cometh

Being sick sucks.  Monday night I came down with a stomach bug and left work early, hoping it was some sketchy yogurt I ate earlier and not the flu that was rampaging through the sorority house, laying it's victims to languish in the hallways, moaning about how sick they are, but not taking any of the advice the housemother and I would give them. 
But I digress, I was sticken with stomach cramps, nausea, sour burps, and dizziness.  Not good when you need to serve up a fancy plated meal for 60 women.  Needless to say, I kept it together until after the plating, though the fury of passing plates almost pushed me over the edge, then I went home.  Driving while nauseous is no picnic either.  I made it home and went to lay down until the room stopped spinning.
The next day, I felt a little better.  That is until I opened a can of dog food.  The chunks of compressed meat hovering in it's viscous gravy sealed my fate, and I called in sick then went back to bed.
After a three hour nap, I made myself some gingered chicken broth and sat down in the sun room by our sliding glass door.  The early afternoon sun warmed my aching body and I felt a little more cheerful.  A sudden movement caught my eye, and from out of the hedges lining our porch slinked out the death cat.  I screamed in horror at the ominous omen glaring at me.
"The Death Cat!  The Death Cat has come in my hour of weakness!"

Now the Death Cat is one of many cats that roam our neighborhood.  A massive long-haired black feline who usually sits on the fence corner glowering at our house.  He is the arch enemy of our black cat, Magic.  The Death Cat, when he's in full skulk, looks like the grim reaper,  Saggy black fur and two demonic glowing eyes.  Many midnight battles have been waged between Death Cat and Magic.  Usually after these fights, we will find a deceased animal on our patio, a bird, a mouse, one time a pack  rat... always Magic, missing clumps of fur, ends up staying inside for a couple of days.

But yesterday the Death Cat came for me.  He looked me right in the eyes and my heart shivered.  

I'm surprised I'm still alive.

Perhaps it was just a warning, a gentle reminder that bad things do pass, to enjoy your health while you have it.   So Enjoy Life my friends, or else the Death Cat may visit your porch next.

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